Laura sees her dad when he comes into town. She has told me she doesn't like it when I ask questions about her dad or her time with him. She doesn't like being in the middle. She doesn't like talking to either one of us about the divorce. This week she had dinner with Bill and I restrained myself from asking her anything about it. I did, however, ask her is she had mentioned the cell phone bill to him. She said no. But that's okay because he will be getting a letter about it from my lawyer.
This evening while Kyle and Haley were fetching our greasy taco dinner from Tito's (hands down the best greasy tacos in the world), and Laura and I were alone in the house, she started talking about her dinner with Bill. It caught me by surprise. I wanted her to keep going so I sat down and listened, keeping my questions to a minimum. She said he got a new attorney. Who knows if this is good news or not???....She also said he and Kyle are both very angry with each other. Recounting her conversation with him, I could see how he is doing his 'projecting' again. He said he is going to write Kyle a letter about the 'one-way' conversation the two of them had on the phone when Kyle made Bill listen and wouldn't let him talk. ("Really, Dad?" she said. "You don't like it when someone talks and doesn't let you respond?"). Kyle had reamed Bill saying, amongst other things, he had never provided for his family. Bill was going to write to Kyle and tell him he is doing the same thing. Laura talked him out of it, but it took some time. Kyle's education won't be paid for if he gets a job. He has talked about getting work and Laura has talked him out of it. Then their conversation somehow turned to our divorce. He still maintains that I am the one who asked for it. Laura said, "Dad, why are you getting divorced? Because I know it isn't because you have cancer. There's a bigger reason. It's because you are gambling. I know the whole story." He said, "Your mother wasn't upset about the gambling." "I was with Mom when you texted her about your gambling. I KNOW how upset she was." "Well, maybe she was a little upset. But she didn't give me any choice." "Dad, she gave you Option A, and Option B was divorce. You only saw Option B. If you had really wanted to save your marriage you would have talked it out, fought for it. And if this whole divorce was a misunderstanding. Why didn't either one of you clear it up? Mom went through enough crap with you to have to put up with more."
And let's remember what Option A was: Do something to protect me from any fallout from your gambling.
What a kid.
Earlier this week I had complained to my therapist. Why do most husbands, when given the news that they have horrid cancer, want to make sure their families are provided for after their passing? And why did the one I had choose to indulge in his addiction and, not only did he NOT want to provide for me, but he is going after half of everything I have? She reminded me of what I cannot let myself forget: this is about his shortcomings, not mine.
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