One night on my vacation up north, I was at a weekly volleyball game my brother and his family play with friends. As we were walking to the car to go to dinner afterwards, my phone rang. "Cindy, this is Chris."
"Oh, God. Chris, can you ever forgive me? I didn't know what Bill and your dad had cooked up. I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. Can you ever forgive me for breaking your trust? For just being stupid?"
Here's the hard part for me. What I allowed happen reveals an unsavory part of my character. I don't know if I can ever forgive myself for not shoving that stupid contract in Bill's face. I have to live with the consequences for not standing up for what I knew was right. I have to own that. I can't make it go away. The only thing I can do now is make amends with Chris and change myself so that never happens to me again. How I can do that is part of the journey I'm on.
Stand up for what you know is right. Don't be bullied. Don't be coerced. Don't be seduced into something that makes you feel uncomfortable. Don't let yourself be manipulated, not even by someone you love. Especially not by someone you love.
Chris and I spoke for an hour. There was much to catch up on and a lot of 'input' I needed to give. She had gotten my phone number from Bill. He had given her his version of our divorce and I gave her mine. She said, "His version didn't make sense and he kept going back on his story. You make sense. And I believe you." During that conversation Laura came by and spoke to Chris. We arranged to meet in a few days.
We spent the day together. We went to a very nice quiet restaurant near the beach where you can sit in an arbored patio. We had a good time. During those hours we found out how she has been these eight years, that she had another bout with breast cancer, and that she lives in a much nicer place. She had always been dead-on accurate about Bill. She's the one who called him on being manic-depressive in 1993. She knew he and their dad had cooked up something with the estate. She was always right about him. She knew him better than I. And I knew him pretty well. At one point I told her I thought Bill had really loved me. She agreed. She even said that at one point he had told her he had married the right woman. I had always felt that, too, but when she said it it felt like true, solid confirmation.
She trusts me again. And better yet, I am forgiven. I can't 'undo' what I allowed to happen, but I can make better choices from here on out. We are in touch. Laura, Kyle and I will not break her trust or tell Bill where she lives. But I feel we are healing an important part of our lives.
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