Is It Love?

This morning's sermon was called 'How is Your Love Life?' It was on some of the provocative-sounding verses from Song of Songs. It wasn't really about sex, but the verses read, when viewed in a purely carnal and not a theological light, pretty erotically. And for me, hearing those verses were evocative of past romantic experiences. So, guess who was daydreaming through the sermon?

I thought about when I first fell in love with Bill. I thought about the feelings of passion, the craving for his body, the unquenchable quest I had to touch him, feel him and be with him. I remember being out with him and the sensation of our bodies melding together at the slightest touch. A touch, even a short kiss seemed to produce heat. I was consumed with the physical aspect of our relationship for a long time. Vestiges of that passion continued throughout the marriage. But sitting in church today I wondered:

Was that lust?

Or was that love?

And where is the intersection of love and lust?

I thought, is this what newlyweds who have not had premarital sex feel? Then I thought, no, it's to painful for the bride for the first week in those cases. But I bet it goes on for a good amount of time at the beginning of a marriage. Does it help build a strong foundation for a healthy, longterm marriage? I have some friends who waited until marriage and then had successful, longterm unions. I'll have to ask them.

But again, not only 'where' is the intersection of love and lust but 'what' is the intersection of love and lust? I think there's a healthy and an unhealthy intersection. Do the lines between these intersections blur? Did I find myself in one of these blurry areas? How do you see clearly when you're in this area?

But here's another point about me and lust. Once I have sexual relations with a man, I drop about thirty IQ points. The veil comes down and my judgment is skewed. I see the person through different eyes, and my ability to engage in critical thinking about them is greatly diminished. This would be a great argument for celibacy. Are we wired to marry, then have sex, and become unable to think logically about our partner? Is this only something women experience after intercourse? It's certainly been my experience.