I write this blog as a way of getting through a difficult divorce with a difficult man who was the love of my life but turned out to be bipolar, self-absorbed and controlling. After being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, he told me he had never stopped gambling, an addiction that had caused us a lot of pain in our earlier years. This led to me filing dissolution papers before he had a chance to run up any more debts against community property.
Monday, September 10, 2012
More Emergence
Sunday was the day of the memorial. Laura had checked with the person hosting the service and I had been told that it might be a little 'uncomfortable' if I were to attend. We went for breakfast at the nearby hot springs resort.
When we got home, there was a knock on the door. It was a guy named Jeff. He had been Bill's first landlord in the desert, at the clothing-optional spa. He owned the spa too. He was looking for Bill. He said that they went riding on their motorcycles together. Kyle gently broke the news of Bill's passing to him. He was very, very sad. He started talking about what a great guy he thought Bill was. He said that Bill had had to move out of the place he rented from him because he wouldn't allow Bill to keep the dogs there. But they still went on motorcycle rides together and he had considered him a friend. In fact, he said one day Bill called him and said, "Jeff, I am sitting on the motorcycle you're going to buy." He was all the way out in Harbor City. Jeff went there and bought the bike. He loved it and named it Mr. Bill. Kyle let him take a picture of Bill's urn, which he said he was going to post on Facebook. He broke down and cried.
Laura and Kyle both said to me, "How can we go to this memorial service and listen to people talk about what a great guy Bill was?" It was to become the theme of the day.
They left for the service and I stayed at the apartment to clean up. Bill's place was one half of a duplex. I started emptying out the refrigerator and taking the old food out to the trash can. In the driveway were three people. One person was one of the guys who lived next door, the other two were his parents. They starting asking me about Bill's van. They were thinking of buying it for their church. I suggested they ask Laura and Kyle about it. More of the fellows came out from inside. They told me how much they liked Bill, what a great neighbor he had been, how he had helped them fix broken Nintendos and cars. He had always lent them tools when they needed them. WHAT???? He NEVER lent his tools to anyone! Then the fourth guy came out and told how the first time he had met Bill he had gone over to tell Bill they would be celebrating his 21st birthday that night and hoped the music wouldn't bother him. Later that day Bill came over to their place with a 24-pack of beer and a beautiful (he said 'awesome') picture frame. The guy was so touched that this stranger would do that, that he cried. "I'm not from around here and to have a complete stranger be so kind just blew me away. I couldn't believe it."
Neither could I.
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