And so it goes that what started as a blog to help me deal with your diagnosis of pancreatic cancer has evolved into a blog about divorce. But it's not just about divorce; it's about bipolar meds' efficacies being interfered with by chemotherapy, about old hurts, new hurts, anger and insanity. And me, where do I stand in all of this? What unforgivable sins have I committed? Where did I turn a blind eye to things that should have been handled, talked through, resolved? Did I pooh-pooh something that should have been given more attention? Or, like my therapist says, is it about the person I chose? I suspect it's all of the above.
A life that used to revolve around chemo appointments, CT scans, cancer support groups, yoga classes, work, looking for quality time and special cancer-fighting diets, is now full of emails to and from lawyers, contentious interactions, accusations and court dates. This blog will attempt to memorialize all of these things and integrate them into the context of cancer and all the rest that represented our lives for twenty-two years of marriage and four years of dating. How this will end, I don't know. God is in control. I can only hope that what I do conforms to what He wants from me.
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