In Time

In time you started reacting differently. I already knew you had regretted having my dad move in with us. I knew you wanted him to move out. How could we ask that of him after we had cleaned out both his homes and rented them out? How could we oust an 89-year-old? It just didn't seem right. I know he can be critical; he's my father, after all. After he moved in with us and he got well, he became his critical self again. Not as bad as you or your father, but critical nonetheless. Hmmmmmm, who's gonna take care of you after this? Who's gonna take in a critical 65-year-old with manic depressive illness and pancreatic cancer????? Good question. At this point, it won't be your daughter.

Another thing you did was start to accuse me of inappropriate behavior with other men. A friend I text message, I could understand, but our daughter's boyfriend? You ripped me a new one the night before Easter, telling me I was inappropriate and where in the world did I ever learn to do that? Did my mother act that way around guys? Around my boyfriends? Oooooooh, don't start with my mother. You should know better than to mess with people's mothers that way. But I didn't have much of a comeback; I didn't think I'd done anything wrong. I was hurt and somehow made to feel shamed, and I didn't sleep much that night. I felt that if I wasn't doing anything I considered to be wrong, then what I needed to do was be faithful to myself and not stop being who I am.

I should have known that was the beginning.