Part of your amazing 'surprise' timing has always been that it ruins something wonderful for me. Our anniversary, our 22nd, was coming up two days after your phone call 'surprise'. My school was having its annual Cinco de mayo fiesta and, as usual, I was in charge of the prizes. It's been my cheesy job for the past twenty-some years and it's worked out well for me. I have it down to a science now.
In light of your news and my request for you to think of some way to protect me, I didn't feel it was appropriate to celebrate this dubious event. I let the day slip by without mention of the anniversary. It would have felt hypocritical. The next morning was Saturday and you asked, "When's our anniversary?" "Yesterday," I answered. You said, "We'll have to have a belated celebration." I said, "No, that's all right." Just skip it.
It was the beginning of May and what was to come shocked and hurt me. But I will adjust and I will go on. It is better for me to have found out where I stand than to have gone on with someone who valued me so little. I sat on our dilemna, waiting for you to think of a way to protect me. My cancer support group was a place where I was being given ideas about how to speak up for myself.
No comments:
Post a Comment