Laura and Kyle went to the desert for a golf tournament and a little respite. I stayed home because I didn't want to impose on their friends and I had a Silent Auction to attend for school.
Dressing for the Silent Auction, I remembered that I went to last year's Silent Auction the first weekend after Bill had asked for a divorce. I wore the blue dress I had worn to my high school reunion. I felt pretty but lonely. I attended scads of functions without Bill during the marriage and even though there were times I didn't want to go alone, I never felt lonely. This year I wore another dress I thought looked very pretty, one I had bought several months ago but hadn't had the chance to wear yet. In fact, I thought I looked great, even better than last year. Did I feel lonely this year? No. But I felt 'alone'. Distinctly alone. The evening was another reminder that it has been a year since this craziness started.
Not knowing how my finances are for the summer, I didn't bid on many items. There was great food and wine. I enjoyed them, and the company. I knew just about everyone there. Despite bidding on only four items, I ended up getting three of them and wondering, once again, how I managed to spend so much at a silent auction when I thought I was holding back. I think those silent auction folks must perk up when they see me coming. I got a basket of Starbucks goods, a basket to put on the front of a bike (I bought it for Laura so she could ride with her little purse dogs in it), and ------ta-da----le piece de resistance------a gargantuan margarita basket with four kinds of Jose Cuervo, shakers, shots glasses, mix, lemons, limes, etc. Since the lemons and limes won't last until my birthday, I thought I'd have a margarita party soon. Might be fun. Probably not something to invite the Bible study girls for.
As I was at the auction, I got a text message from Kyle, then another from Laura. Kyle's grandmother in Rancho Mirage just died. This is rough stuff. Kyle was released into her care in December 08 but had to move out when his mother showed up to live there. He cannot be with his mother because she had been negligent thus giving him abandonment issues, and it hurt him when his grandmother let her stay. But Grandma was a mother and this was her first-born, had metastatic lung cancer and wasn't given long to live then. She lasted a lot longer than anyone thought she would but we didn't realize the end was coming right now. The hard thing will be not only grieving her passing but dealing with unresolved issues and the autistic uncle and widower she leaves behind. Laura liked this grandma and it makes a double whammy for her for this week.
Is Bill comforting her? She's out in his neck of the woods now, is he there for her? Will she be able to get some emotional support from her father during this time? Has she felt comfortable enough to tell him about the miscarriage? He knew Kyle's grandma. They had cancer and gambling addiction in common, and she had given him a few weekends at the resort where she got a lot of comps. I hope he can do his parental duty and comfort his only child at this time.
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