Ugh

Oh, s*#+! Dad is telling Carmi that he and his boyfriend don't have *sex* but could the relief caregiver sleep in the second bedroom tomorrow night? Has he forgotten that I'll be here? Please don't make me say 'no, your boyfriend can't have a sleepover'. I feel queasy. And all afternoon he has been obsessing over how to make instant pudding. He wanted to know if I could spend from 10am to noon tomorrow making instant pudding for him ---- or if I could teach him. This pudding talk went on for a long time. He overplans. I don't. We're a really bad match that way. That and the cleanliness.

He's gotten up out of bed, after having been in it for two hours. He's still going on about the pudding......And the sleeping arrangements. Lord, give me a break. I want to bust out. It's only now that I sit and reflect on my day and the verdict is: it wasn't such a good one.

This morning my principal questioned me about a couple of things I did recently. Hmmmm.....for one he actually said, "Don't do that again." Nicely. But it doesn't feel good that my principal doesn't agree with a professional decision I made. oh, well.....that's happened more than once over the last thirty-six years. And I'm not so sure he knew the whole story. But he's the boss. And he's a pretty good one.

I wore my Sanuks and a summery outfit to school. As I was driving west to work, the clouds and fog started rolling in.

I am the grade level leader and we were to meet for an hour and a half this morning, but with two out of four teachers having subs, it's not worth it to do any long-range planning or professional development. So we talked about Open House and testing. I worry we won't hit the ground running next year because we won't have done our advance-planning. That's why I had gone to the principal this morning. I needed to know if my vision for the team for the remainder of this school year was going to be okay.

The kids were a bit wild but did a great job being hosts to the visiting preschool class, choosing partners and showing the little ones everything in the room. Alone in the class, though, there is an inordinate amount of physical contact and unkind words being said. They should be past this by now. Am I not doing the community-building correctly? Have I missed an essential piece in teaching them to be caring?

A former teacher, a woman who had been Laura's fourth grade--and favorite---teacher, came to visit at lunch. When I told her Laura wanted to get married, she and another co-worker said to discourage her, that's she's too young. And then they said, "Why would she want to get married so young?"

because she's pregnant.....well, she was pregnant...

oh....

The kids are in the desert. Kyle is golfing in a tournament with his dad. It seems to be a tournament of a large group of people who are friends. Kyle loves it. Laura's not excited but she needs to get away. She'll be staying at the home of some really lovely older friends, people my age, who befriended them when they lived in a complex where Kyle worked in the leasing office. Laura miscarried this week and has been emotionally and physically upset. It's a heavy burden for such a young woman. And she had been so thrilled about having a baby. The pain of a miscarriage has been a lot for someone so young, and for someone who has had so much pain over the past year. They gave her a medication that would essentially put her in labor and force her body to expel everything that had been growing inside. What she described sounded like labor and I wonder if the medications are a pitosin derivative. She said two Vicodin did nothing to dull the pain. Yep, sounds like labor. The doctor told her to go away for a few days, get a change of scenery, and rest. I hope her health issues are over. I mean, what else could go wrong? She could get gall stones or kidney stones, I guess. She could break a bone or get a horrid cut. Well, after talking to the health benefits department at my work, she better do it before she turns 27. And if she has a baby, she has to get separate health insurance for it before it turns one month old.