Real Men Don't Take Spousal Support

I try hard not to reveal to people, especially strangers or those I don't know well, that I have to give spousal support to my ex-husband. I avoid the issue. I leave it out of conversations. If people ask why I am going to work after retirement, I say something semi-true, like I am trying to save for trips or that I'm paying down the credit cards I ran up paying my attorney during the divorce. I really like to leave out the part where I have to pay my former spouse a potful of money every month. To a person, with one exception, everyone has said no REAL man would accept spousal support from a woman. Hmmmmmmmm....I was communicating with someone I hadn't really spoken with since about eighth grade. He commended me for retiring at a time of my own choosing and shared how he had been 'outsourced' from a job he had invested 13 years of his life doing, how he had been told he was slowing down, and that his job was being shipped overseas. How common that is in this world. How many people have I seen have this happen. How many people have I seen traveling to other countries to 'train' new people only to later discover those 'trainees' had been given that person's job! It's like handing someone a shovel and telling them their job is to dig, only to discover that what they dug was their own grave. Anyway, the conversation moved to finances and I mentioned that I had to pay spousal support. I mentioned it gently. Here is his answer: What is this with you paying an Ex (former) spousal support? It was offered to me after my second marriage ended. I laughed so hard and told Kris that I would rather perish than have her support me. We are still the best of friends... it just didn't work... move on! Was this guy really worth it? Was this guy really worth it? good question. I keep asking myself that question. That and a few others. Was this guy really worth it? And why didn't I get a 'man' who laughed at the thought of being supported? Was he really worth it? Not really. And then again, yes, he kind of was. I had the biggest thrills of my life with him, he was smart, had a huge variety of skills and interests, he was bold, he was great in bed. There is no question I paid a high price for that marriage. But out of it I got Laura, and out of Laura we now have KJ. When I focus on that, the marriage was worth it. And the one exception to the comment that no REAL man would ask for spousal support? My first husband. Lord, sour grapes after 28 years.